Teeth

The most common dream is your
teeth falling out, maybe
teeth crumbling or

teeth slowly being pulled out
teeth falling out,
full,
whole,
and porcelain,
teeth that you wiggle back and forth
with your tongue that until they break
free.

I woke up with my tooth hanging

by a thread,

covered in blood,

wondering if this was real or not,

realizing that I have no more teeth after this one,
realizing that I am no longer a child
I do not have a back up plan,
no tooth waiting to fill this hole that I have made.

I tell my psychiatrist about this dream,
about the reoccurring dreams where
my canines crumble where
my molars fall like pebbles to the ground
and she says “oh, that’s perfectly normal”
as if it is perfectly normal to dream
every night of losing pieces of yourself
realizing you can never get them back again.
As if it is normal to dread waking up
because you don’t know
if all of the parts of you will still be there.
As if it is normal to want parts of you to not be there.
To want to break into pieces and be something new.
It does not surprise me that this is the most common dream.

We are so overwhelmed with ourselves,
so full on our own parts,

that we ache to lose them.

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